Mom Jeans

It's 4:30 am and Austin is laying next to me sleeping.  While spending the hour rocking him to sleep because he thought it was play time again, I was thinking about my faux pas the other day and it got me thinking about my new role. While with a client at my house, I was navigating on the computer, trying to get a last minute project completed and found myself babbling, OUT LOUD!  Even as I was doing it, I would catch it and say to myself  "Why are you doing that? Stop that!" and then find myself doing it again.  I could not help but crack up after the client left.  Seriously though?  What the heck is wrong with me?

Remember that Saturday Night Live skit where the girls of SNL are modeling jeans that are made for moms because, you know, we all have pouches and flat butts now that we are moms.  The famous line is "you are no longer a woman, you are a mom".  Hilarious.  But is it true? 

Austin is five months now and for the last few months I have been trying to get the old Jen back as quick as possible.  And I mean, like the early 20's Jen.  The one that weighed at least 30 pounds less, was running, a cycle instructer and could eat anything she wanted.  Sheesh!  I am almost 34 and I hadn't been in that shape in like ten years! Anyways, I know it can be done, I mean look at Brook Burke and after how many kids? Three? Four?  I'm no Brook Burke but you get the point. 

It's not just the physical part either.  When you wait till you are in your 30's to have a children, you likely had established a career, you have surpassed the "figuring it out" 20's and are pretty set in your identity.  Now, you throw mom in the loop?  It calls for a major adjustment.   Don't get me wrong, being a mom has always been a dream of mine.  It's still a game changer though and I'm still in the first inning.  Becoming a wife is a piece of cake compared to this.

I still have my identity, it has just expanded into being a mom and while they are separate they are also very much melded together.    I just keep having to remind myself that I can get back to feeling fit, it's just going to take a little longer and require more dedication and patience.  I can still do the things I would like to do, it just may be delayed or it will be adjusted to incorporate Austin. Nothing wrong with that.

I AM a mom now.    For me that means I am a wife, a lover, a friend, a companion, a mentor, a teacher and much, much more.  I'm cool with that.