Mom Jeans

It's 4:30 am and Austin is laying next to me sleeping.  While spending the hour rocking him to sleep because he thought it was play time again, I was thinking about my faux pas the other day and it got me thinking about my new role. While with a client at my house, I was navigating on the computer, trying to get a last minute project completed and found myself babbling, OUT LOUD!  Even as I was doing it, I would catch it and say to myself  "Why are you doing that? Stop that!" and then find myself doing it again.  I could not help but crack up after the client left.  Seriously though?  What the heck is wrong with me?

Remember that Saturday Night Live skit where the girls of SNL are modeling jeans that are made for moms because, you know, we all have pouches and flat butts now that we are moms.  The famous line is "you are no longer a woman, you are a mom".  Hilarious.  But is it true? 

Austin is five months now and for the last few months I have been trying to get the old Jen back as quick as possible.  And I mean, like the early 20's Jen.  The one that weighed at least 30 pounds less, was running, a cycle instructer and could eat anything she wanted.  Sheesh!  I am almost 34 and I hadn't been in that shape in like ten years! Anyways, I know it can be done, I mean look at Brook Burke and after how many kids? Three? Four?  I'm no Brook Burke but you get the point. 

It's not just the physical part either.  When you wait till you are in your 30's to have a children, you likely had established a career, you have surpassed the "figuring it out" 20's and are pretty set in your identity.  Now, you throw mom in the loop?  It calls for a major adjustment.   Don't get me wrong, being a mom has always been a dream of mine.  It's still a game changer though and I'm still in the first inning.  Becoming a wife is a piece of cake compared to this.

I still have my identity, it has just expanded into being a mom and while they are separate they are also very much melded together.    I just keep having to remind myself that I can get back to feeling fit, it's just going to take a little longer and require more dedication and patience.  I can still do the things I would like to do, it just may be delayed or it will be adjusted to incorporate Austin. Nothing wrong with that.

I AM a mom now.    For me that means I am a wife, a lover, a friend, a companion, a mentor, a teacher and much, much more.  I'm cool with that.

California Trip Part 2 - Visit to Great Grandpa Herdman

5/22 and 5/26

We were able to visit my Grandpa Herdman (my mother's father) on Sunday and the following Thursday.  I have always loved my grandparents house.  It is located in a little town, Los Olivos, in the about 30 minutes north of Santa Barbara.  It is western, ranch style house that was built about 30 years ago and sits on about 5 acres of land.  We used to think it was pretty neat that they were located 5 miles (off the same road) from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch, but that poor piece of land had lost its luster for many, many years. 

There is still the doghouse that used to be the home of three dogs of my childhood, Woody (a lab), Amanda (grandma's cocker spaniel) and Missy (a mean ole mutt).  The placards with their names remain even though they have long passed (some 20 years ago) and a few dogs have come along after them.  Right in front of that doghouse is a HUGE oak tree where the first set of grand kids (Peter, Mike, and I) used to climb up and down.  The second set of grand kids (Jason, Brianne and even Tracy and Kari) followed in our footsteps some five or more years later. 



The doghouse



The Oak Tree

An then there were the childhood horses, Harvey, and Ralph, a mule that was there to keep Harvey company.  Grandpa rode Harvey actively in his Los Rancheros outings, including the yearly, week long ride in May that spanned quite a bit of the valley.  Harvey and Ralph passed ten years ago or so and a borrow, named Jack, has taken their stead. 

Grandpa has a shed/barn that holds his woodworking tools, everything you can imagine you would need to create a masterpiece.  Peter and I would escape to that barn almost as soon as we would arrive at Grandma and Grandpa's house while the adults got reacquainted at the house.  We would feed the horses bits of hay and try not to get our clothes or hands stuck in their mouths.  Before our teens, we were just a little frightened and fascinated by the horses, so crossing the fence was always a heart racing experience as were crossing into their "territory".
 

The Barn/Shed

Thanksgiving was at their house for many, many years, even for us "Holdridge's" on the east coast.  We would make the trek to California on Wednesday and be welcomed with guacamole and homemade tortilla chips for something to snack on Wednesday and whatever was for dinner that night.  The turkey on Thanksgiving was usually about 35lbs with all the fixings to go with it including an assortment of pies to finish.  The next day was shopping in town (Solvang) for the ladies and to the woodworking shed for the men to help Grandpa with his latest project.  That night were authentic Mexican tamales made by my grandmother's hairdresser, Rachel

It is sad to say that Thanksgivings have dwindled these days, those tools are now covered in dust from lack of use and I don't see much of my uncles, aunts and cousins since my grandma passed this very month in 2005.  A lot of time has passed.  My hope is that the next time I see them is not just at my grandfather's funeral.

I am grateful that Austin met his great grandfather.  While he won't remember this experience, I hope pictures and writings will help him understand what he and my grandmother meant to me.  Grandpa was born the year of the stock market crash and perhaps set him up to be a part of a very tough generation.  My grandparents were almost never affectionate when I was younger and I relished in the very few times they were when I was older.  All the same, they hold a special place in my heart.

Austin and Mom visiting with Grandpa's dog, Max

Four Generations (birth dates 1929-2010)



California Trip Part 2 - Random Pictures

5/22-5/25/2011

Temps are running 50's/60's on the coast and 70's in the valley, but sunshine everywhere!

El Rancho grocery store in Santa Ynez

 

Austin skyping with Daddy in Georgia

Perhaps the last time I eat scallops in white wine/butter sauce :(

My parent's dog, "Maggie" (yes the same name as my dog) watching over Austin

Lunch in Los Olivos

 

 A couple of prancing "mini" ponies

 

Roses in California are abundant!

 "Mini" pony ranch in Los Olivos

 

Austin and Mom's "Maggie" on a walk with me near parents home

 

California Trip Part 1 - Beach Baby!

I have been really looking forward to taking Austin to the beach.  Early in the season, perhaps, is not the time to go however as while the weather is beautiful the ocean is FREEZING!  I didn't fret though.  Grabbed a carrier, lathered on some sunscreen and we went exploring.

Austin had a new experience with sitting in the stroller, facing forward.  He liked this new viewing position as he was able to socialize with anyone that came within site and see all that he was approaching.

California Trip Part 1 - Getting To Know My Folks

5/19-5/20/2011

When we arrived in Santa Barbara - it was great.  A little chilly but we excitedly got off the plane and finally joined my folks near the baggage claim.  Mom was crying and Dad was grinning and I think I got a hug before they started gushing over my sweet boy.  Austin is just days from being five months and the closest my folks have come to seeing him to this point was via SKYPE so this was a wonderful greeting.  Lompoc is a about an hour north of Santa Barbara so we got on the road and headed that way. 

It is so great to see my folks gushing over Austin while I sit back and watch, take pictures and grin from ear to ear.  Experiencing it like this gave me a glimpse of how they were with me and Peter, which is so endearing.

I take a nap and they already have him in a NAVY hat!

 Nothing like California sun!

The pathway to every man's (or little boy's) heart is food



Showing Austin how to roll over with his brace

Dad has always been a goof when it comes to the little ones.  Here is a video to prove it:

We settled in great.  Austin got to his bedtime routine by the second night and although he gets up every three hours, I have been doing fine with a little nap at some point during the day.

California Trip Part 1 - The Flight

5/19/2011

I had researched and asked about flying with an infant.  Received some good advice from experienced friends and was really set to go.  Austin is truly a good baby so I was not worried one bit about the ride over.  He would flirt and socialize and when he needed, whine a little for some food and sleep.  No problemo!

Umf.  Well, the morning didn't start out so well with a forgotten stroller that needed to be retrieved and all of a sudden a two hour leeway turned into a rushed boarding that set us up for an interesting plane ride on a full flight.  Austin was great at first.  He took the bottle as we took off and didn't complain about pressure changing.  About a half hour later and all of sudden, I had an inconsolable child that needed his diaper changed and the pilot had not turned off the seatbelt sign.  Once permitted and a diaper change was had, on a very tight changing table in the lavatory that made Austin very upset, the next couple hours were challenging.  I spent most of the those two hours consoling and entertaining him in the back of the plane in the flight attendent station.  Once he conked out, I returned to the window seat of row 29 and he slept for about two hours (thank God!) while I barely moved in the seat for fear of waking him up and I apologized up and down to the sweet ladies in the middle and aisle seats for our little meltdowns. 

The second flight was a breeze from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara as he slept and I chatted with a college kid from outside Austin, Tx. 

There are no pictures to post - I simply did not have the energy!

Second Wedding Anniversary

Matt and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary on May 14, 2011 by eating at one of our favorite eating spots, Figo's and going to see a band that Matt loved, The Freddy Jones Band, and whom I grew to love very quickly.  They were playing at one of my favorite venues, Eddie's Attic.

The band was jamming and we had a great time!

The band is going to send the audience a link to listen to the live audio from the show which we are looking forward to but here is a video showing their jamming ability...

Here's to two years hunny!  Love you!

Online Journaling

Okay - this is my first post to this blog. Austin is now a little over 4.5 months old and I have been fumbling on how I was going to chronicle his milestones and happenings. I had been using Facebook to share his pictures and some thoughts because it is soooo easy and quick! I soon realized that while it is fun to do on a temporary and immediate basis, everything I have been doing has been a waste as far as keeping up with all that has been happening because you can't print and there is no guarantee that Facebook will be available to show Austin in the future. There are of course the baby books and calendars, etc that can be used but not only do I not have the patience to fill out a "form" but I really enjoy the immediate sharing with family and friends and the possible feedback.

So I figured that the next best thing was to do a blog and worse case scenario I could just write in word and do a copy/paste into a blog and then I could save the word pieces for Austin (perhaps putting them in a book or something) but was really discouraged by this additional work.

That was until....

I went on a walk with a new mom friend today and knowing she kept up a blog for her daughter that is now 7 months old, I asked her how she was going to share her blog with her daughter. She told me about blog2print.com. I am so relieved! This site takes your blog posts, pictures and all and can create a chronological book from it! This is so wonderful!

Now if they could do this to Facebook, I would be ecstatic, but I am learning to be patient. :)